THE 7 R'S FOR A SUCCESSFUL HOME

There are seven Rs that make for a successful home. They are:

1. Relate
2. Respect
3. Reason
4. Romance
5. Rule
6. Resist and
7. Realise.

1. Relate
Relationship is a social togetherness which regards each party as relevant, thereby establishing a mental liberty that allows a free flow of communication, with no party feeling enslaved. Many couples just co-habit as room-mates; without really relating with each other and enjoying any form of togetherness in their marriage. Marriage is designed by God for togetherness and social integration of the two individuals involved. Both of them leave their parents and cleave to each other, the two becoming one flesh (Gen. 2:24). There is a trinity of agreement in a marriage union. Socially, they are one in mind. Spiritually, they see the things of God in the same way. Physically, they are the only two people that are permitted to be one in body. This trinity agreement clearly shows a three-fold cord that cannot easily be broken. That is why the enemy keeps trying to cause trouble in homes and separate married people. He wants to weaken them, so he can take advantage of them and afflict them.

Benefits Of A Good Relationship In The Home
The advantages of togetherness in the home are enormous. When there is love and harmony in a home, it becomes too strong to be defeated by the enemy. The atmosphere in such a home makes it conducive for the Spirit of God to dwell and function, giving you a victory advantage in the battles of life. The destinies of the couple that enjoys a good marriage relationship is bright and colourful. God is covenantly bound to back them up. A relationship that lacks mutual benefits is nothing but slavery.

2. Respect
The next key that will guarantee a successful home is Respect. This calls for the couple submitting to one another. They both should pay attention to each other's observations and respect each other's views. They are both to accord honour to each other, thereby adding colour to the home. Because the man will most likely have a problem with this, Peter advises in 1 Peter 3:7: Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. The sweetest woman on earth is the one respected by her husband. A wife is by covenant a joint-heir, with her husband, of the promise of life, and so should be accorded the respect due her. The man should not wait to be respected by the woman. Respect should be mutual the woman respecting her husband, and the man according her the same as well. This way, peace, joy and love will reign in the home, making it a haven of rest.

3. Reason
Reasoning is the capacity for logical, rational, and analytical thought. Because each party has the mind of Christ, they should be able to look at issues logically and proffer solutions to whatever challenges may be confronting them. Majority of the crisis in many homes is as a result of poor reasoning and management. You should know your worth as a Family, and what can be afforded per time. Trust your wife with your money. Don't go to the market and start asking for the price of fish and pepper. Relax, and trust her; because every great thing requires other people's input. You can't successfully manage your home alone. Reason and plan with your wife. Don't bite more than you can chew, and then start believing that "The Lord will do it". The Lord won't do your planning for you. God gave you a brain, so you can give Him rest. He gave you a sound mind so you can reason and make logical and reasonable plans. Sound planning and management of available resources brings ease and serenity into your marriage.

4. Romance
It is socially impossible to successfully run a home without a sound romantic relationship. Marriage is designed for your enjoyment. It is also to keep you from burning. God Himself put the sexual instinct inside the man and woman, to be given expression to and satisfied in marriage. Sex and romance are expressions of the love shared between a man and his wife. But it is only safe in marriage. When this is tampered with, a burning that can be disastrous is created. The cause of quite a number of problems in homes today can be traced to a breakdown in the romantic relationship between husband and wife. Husbands and wives are not only supposed to be united mentally and spiritually, they should also be united bodily. This completes the triune nature of their union. The more romantic your marriage, the more established your home will be. Also, a good romantic relationship between husband and wife gives room for effective communication in the home, making it very vibrant spiritually. You must create a natural romantic environment in your home. A sexually deprived marriage is heading for destruction. Your marriage will not be destroyed! Be emotionally committed to each other, and you will enjoy a sweet and strong Family.

5. Rule
Biblically, the home is a human institution set up by God; but He leaves man with a responsibility, if he desires fulfilment in it. Maintaining order in the home is very important. There must be an administrative structure in the home, and all the parties involved in that government must see the need for it and comply with the rules. There must be a leader in every home, for ease of administration and order. It is the man's duty to assess everybody else's opinion, and to make a decision that will be best for the home. Because the man sees better, he is able to determine what is best for the organisation. Women should accept the leadership of their husbands. Support your head, because the body (which you are) is useless without a head. God placed him there, no matter his age, social or economic status. For instance, the president or head of state of a country is not usually the oldest or smartest man in the country. The cheapest way to win the heart of a man in the home is to recognise his leadership position. If you do, he will go out of his way to preserve your honour and dignity. You never know how enjoyable your husband's love can be, until you demonstrate genuine submission to him. Your husband has a divine position from God. You shouldn't propagate his deficiencies, but rather give your covenant support to him, in the overall interest of your Family. In every home government, the man is the speaker, while the wife is the deputy speaker. The children are the listeners, who are allowed to make contributions when they are grown up enough to do so. Every successful husband is a good listener, but he must be firm enough to make his decisions. Just as every accident is blamed on the driver of a vehicle, and not the passengers; the man is to be blamed for every crisis in the home. He is the driver of the home. In spite of all the excuses Adam gave, God didn't spare him, so don't allow problem-seeds to blossom in your home. Your wife is to be respected, not merely in theory or words, but by believing that she has something to offer in the home. She should be given an important role to play in the home government, otherwise it won't work efficiently. The wife must have a well-defined portfolio. This helps her to be more responsible, and to work for the interest of the home. When both the man and his wife are involved in the home government, they have succeeded in checking the devil out of their home. Lack of administration leads to frustration, and the essence of administration is to establish order. You will not fail!

6. Resist
No good thing comes easy. This is where resistance in marriage comes in. Don't watch the enemy tear down your home and destiny; rise up and shout him down. Don't allow error to survive in your home, resist it spiritually and physically. If you notice that certain individuals come to visit your home or spouse, and when they leave, your home and relationship with your spouse becomes sour, approach your spouse and tell him or her you are not comfortable with the person's visit, stating your reasons for this. If you don't resist such intrusions, the entire home might be corrupted over night. Don't stop resisting, until the error is lifted. Resist the devil continuously, till he bows out. Your resistance must be done in wisdom. Resist without making your husband or wife look like a fool, but making an observation that you know is in the interest of the Family. I see your home becoming a land flowing with milk and honey, in Jesus' mighty name!

7. Realise
Continuity is the secret for realised dreams. It is wisdom to keep investing in what you know to be an asset. It is wisdom to continue in the pursuit of the six keys mentioned above until you obtain your desire. Every beautiful art work comes out of long hours spent in its production. The beauty you anticipate in your home requires that you keep at the facts that make it work.

Follow this 7 steps and you will realise your dream of a sweet and fulfiled home.