Understanding, Relating and Appreciating Your Spouse

Understanding is the key to a happy marriage. It takes good understanding for you to enjoy marriage maximally. When two different individuals get married, it is easy to blame your spouse for problems in the marriage, however both of them have different emotional priorities and trying to understand is crucial to a happy union, you have to understand each others feelings, you will ease frustration, strengthen your marriage and increase your happiness this way. It is important to know that your spouse first belonged to a family and in most cases for over twenty years before you got married to each other so there is no way to change your spouse immediately or in one year and if you are not careful it may take another twenty years! It takes time and understanding each other to really make things work between you two and in the shortest time possible.

Appreciation is another major key. If we appreciate every good thing that our spouse does it encourages them to do more, perform and better, always appreciate the effort of your partners. Give your spouse undivided attention when needed, this makes them feel important. The best way to show appreciation is to show affection in a way that conveys love and respect, the key to a happy marriage is “Don’t cause pain, give pleasure”.Couples should relate well with each other, their relationship should be intimate. Form or cultivate the practice of doing things together e.g eating, praying, playing, training the kids, intimately relating together e.t.c.

1. Realize that your spouse may have different emotional needs or feelings from yours. Once this is established, you can then appreciate and try to understand how to meet those needs.


2. Remember the reason you fell in love with him or her, both of you must meet your emotional needs and it’s important you keep that alive throughout the changes in your marriage.


3. Identify those emotional needs and try not to belittle your spouse’s feelings or needs.


4. Listen to your spouse, this will enable you learn your spouse’s feelings and what he or she is expecting from the relationship.


5. Spend time together, do things that interest you both, make compromises, and share your activities, this must continue no matter how old the marriage is, it keeps the flame burning.


6. Take a few moments each day or night to spend some intimate time alone. It could be as simple as cuddling on the couch or a night of lovemaking.


7. Avoid using hurtful words on each other, always think before you speak, often words said in haste can be hurtful, never both your spouse feelings on the back burner.
   
   If a couple understands each other relate well, appreciate each other it helps resolve family conflict and establish a peaceful, funfilled and happy home.