Intimacy is the closeness of your relationship with your spouse - emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, sexually, and in many other ways. Intimacy is not an end, but rather a journey that lasts throughout your marriage. It can have different meanings for men and women. However, all human beings have the basic need to be intimate and close with another person. Women are often portrayed as having the desire for emotional intimacy, while men are portrayed as only having a desire for sexual intimacy.
Both men and women share the basic need to be intimate with their wives and husbands. However, what this means from both a sexual and emotional standpoint, is somewhat different for men and women. Therefore, typically men and women enter marriage with different beliefs and expectations about giving and receiving affection. Having a basic understanding of such differences is important so that misunderstanding, frustrations, and anger can be avoided.
It's been said that, typically, men give love and commitment in order to get physical affection and sex. Women give physical affection and sex in order to get commitment and love. It might also be said that men typically hunger for sex, while women hunger for romance. Men initially give and receive love to fulfill their physical needs; while women initially give and receive love to fulfill their emotional needs.
Often, women need to feel loved and nurtured, before they begin to be aroused and develop desire for sexual intimacy. For women, emotional intimacy is at least as important as the act of sexual intercourse. Men often need to be sexually aroused, before they can truly feel and express love. It's through sexual activity that men are emotionally and physically fulfilled. Sexual activity often enables men to become aware of their wives' need for love and emotional support.
Unless partners understand such differences (and others) between men and women, it can be difficult or frustrating for them to find a common ground, so that the emotional and physical desires and needs of both can be fulfilled. Understanding each other's feelings and expectations regarding intimacy (in all its dimensions) and being intimate is the key.
However, intimacy can take many forms, including the following:
Emotional intimacy
This is the closeness created through sharing feelings. Here the couple is able to share personal feelings, to trust one another, and to feel safe and secure with each other. Emotions can be described as strong instinctive feeling.
Women, generally, understand emotions better than men. The first step to emotional awareness is to pay attention to your feelings, identify them, and think of possible reasons for them. Work on noticing the differences between strong emotions, such as terror and fury, and the differences between more subtle emotions such as anxiety, insecurity, and irritation.
Emotional intimacy can occur, once people know what they are feeling, convey those feelings to each other, and express concern and understanding of their feelings to each other.
This is the closeness created through sharing feelings. Here the couple is able to share personal feelings, to trust one another, and to feel safe and secure with each other. Emotions can be described as strong instinctive feeling.
Women, generally, understand emotions better than men. The first step to emotional awareness is to pay attention to your feelings, identify them, and think of possible reasons for them. Work on noticing the differences between strong emotions, such as terror and fury, and the differences between more subtle emotions such as anxiety, insecurity, and irritation.
Emotional intimacy can occur, once people know what they are feeling, convey those feelings to each other, and express concern and understanding of their feelings to each other.
Mental or intellectual intimacy
Marriage has a cognitive and planning dimension, which includes sharing thoughts about life, making plans together, and discussing goals. It also involves a mutual understanding about all the important issues in your marriage. Setting goals together is one of the ways to further intellectual intimacy. For example, you might set goals to improve your intimacy, etc.
Spiritual intimacy
Marriage has a spiritual and philosophical dimension that includes sharing spiritual and religious attitudes, behaviours, beliefs, and life experiences. This involves sharing religious beliefs and observing religious practices together, such as praying and worship. As you share spiritual experiences, you will become united in your attitudes and goals.
Recreational & Social Intimacy
This is enjoying activities together, like running, walking, or reading. Watching a TV programme, movie or preparing a meal together can be good ways to build recreational intimacy. Marriage has a social dimension in which the partners enjoy doing things together and spending time together.
Financial or monetary intimacy
The fiscal dimension of marriage deals with decisions and actions concerning earning a living and spending money. This comes with discussing and sharing your finances.
Sexual intimacy
Husband and wife share their physical love for each other, by sharing their bodies and physically becoming one. This is one of the most important dimensions of healthy marital intimacy. Healthy sexual intimacy includes sexual frequency that both partners are satisfied with, sexual activities both partners enjoy, and an open dialogue about sex.
Husband and wife share their physical love for each other, by sharing their bodies and physically becoming one. This is one of the most important dimensions of healthy marital intimacy. Healthy sexual intimacy includes sexual frequency that both partners are satisfied with, sexual activities both partners enjoy, and an open dialogue about sex.
It is important to note that a major strength for happily married couples is the quality of the sexual relationship.
Posts
